


Tomorrow is a new day

by NaraMerald



Series: Bangtan Sonyeodan [6]
Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Always a girl! Jin, Always a girl! Suga, Always a girl! V, Angst, Bangtan Mother! Jin, Consensual sexual acts (not Jungkook), Depression due to a situation., Developing perspectives on shadism., Distressing African American issues., Distressing Indigenous Australian issues., Distressing race issues., F/M, I think this is kind of horrible- why did I write this?, Lame storm metaphors, Loyal & determined! Suga, Mild Kink, No like did I overdo the storm thing at the start?, Potentially triggering, Responsible! Elder line, Shadism warning., That song is really great, This is exactly what you think it is., Young personality! Maknae line, distressed & uncertain! V, frightened but faking! Jungkook, gender stereotypes, ingrained sexism, intimidated but determined! Jimin, non-romantic hetero fuckbuddies, oral fixation! Jin, references to Big Bang's 'Tonight', self-flagellating! Rap Monster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 13:25:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4836938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaraMerald/pseuds/NaraMerald
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How would BTS change if they were a co-ed group?<br/>Or: BTS do a Trouble Maker inspired sexy concept. Namjoon makes a controversial statement and Hoseok wonders if they’ll survive it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tomorrow is a new day

**Author's Note:**

> It is impossible to know exactly what is going through each of the members’ heads during this incident. It is also impossible to know whether Rap Monster was forbidden from apologising and wanted to, whether he was forced to apologise and didn’t want to or whether he just did things his way. It’s impossible to know whether Big Hit instructed Rap Monster to keep on pretending things were normal.  
> I’ve come up with an approximation of what may have happened, but it’s important to remember this could be light years away from the actual story.  
> This story is told from the POV of Fic!J-Hope, who does not understand the reactions of international fans in the beginning and has ingrained traditional ideas of gender. Fic!Rap Monster additionally does not understand the severity of the problem in this piece. Please note that this affects the content, their thoughts and actions and does not reflect my own views, or necessarily that of the real Bangtan. It may therefore begin as aggravating, or unpleasant reading. (Actually, it’s probably going to be downright unpleasant throughout a lot of it.)  
> I am a white Australian. I do my best to be educated, empathetic and understand these issues accurately, but if I have made a mistake, please educate me. 
> 
> Also, this fic contains sexual acts. Should you prefer not to read, consider yourself warned.

The worst thing about the calm before the storm, Hoseok thought, was when you didn’t know you were in the calm before the storm.  
You didn’t know what you didn’t know.  
You were unaware.  
You were unable to prepare.  
You were unable to protect yourself. 

Taehyung’s ‘loser’ scandal was like that. That glittering high, followed by the plummeting crash. Those beautiful jewel-like tears of happiness hardening and shattering into shards of despair. 

If only he’d had some idea, Hoseok thought, he could have mitigated the damage, stopped things spiralling out of control. 

He was wrong. 

 

… 

 

They’re in Australia, on tour, still on the highs from the concert, when they head into another interview. They’re drained- they’ve had hardly any downtime, and they weren’t even allowed to directly go sightseeing. They managed a glimpse of the Sydney Harbour Bridge from under wide hats in backstreets across the harbour, but they’re trying to keep a low profile- after all, the Australian concerts sold out beyond expectations. 

The interview seems small, unimportant, and they’re all cursing that they’re stuck in here, when really, they’d like to get out and explore. (Weren’t there supposed to be Kangaroos and Koalas around every corner? Aside from the stuffed toy he got, Hoseok sure hasn’t seen any, and that sucks.) 

The interviewer throws out the first question, and Namjoon takes the lead, his English far superior to the rest of theirs. Hoseok’s been practising- he’s tried his hardest, but he has to wait for the interpreter before he understands the question. 

“What was your first impression when you met each other?” The reporter asks. 

Hoseok picks up bits of Namjoon’s answer. 

“… V… J-Hope… too black… yeah… nights … too… them…” Hoseok sort of nods and smiles, and there’s the sort of generic tittering of laughter that means either the reporters don’t care or the answer has been boring or problematic. 

It’s then that he notices some of the reporters look uneasy, and thinks back to Namjoon’s answer. Black in relation to him and Taehyung is probably about their skin colour. The two of them are known as the darkest in BTS along with Jimin and sometimes Namjoon. They get it a lot and honestly, he and V get crap for lots of things, so their skin colour is almost the least of their worries. Hoseok shrugs it off and the interview continues. 

Thinking back, Hoseok thinks that maybe the worst thing about the calm before the storm is when you think you’re getting a light shower, and you should be preparing for a hurricane. 

If only he’d had some idea of how terrifying it would be, Hoseok thought, he could have mitigated the damage, stopped things spiralling out of control.

He laughs to himself a little bitterly now, because he realises he was a fool then and he’s a fool now. He doesn’t have an answer for any of it. 

 

… 

 

Namjoon’s comments blow up online. These comments are pretty normal for Korea, so none of them really see the big deal. But the international fans see a huge deal- American, Australian, English, Canadian… the Western fans are blogging at the speed of light, and it’s Yoongi, about to post a selca, who sees it first. 

“Namjoon, I need to talk to you,” Yoongi says urgently, pulling him away from the TV in their hotel room. 

“What’s up?” he asks, brows creased. Hoseok follows, curious, and sees Seokjin eyeing him from across the room. She’ll keep the kids away if he lets her know what’s going down. They often work as a team in this way. 

Namjoon and Yoongi see him enter but don’t really acknowledge him as he sits in. He tends to be on the elder line war council when the shit hits the fan, but he’s never a commander. He prefers it that way, to be honest. His style is to listen and ask questions, to get people to try and work through things, maybe make some observations or suggestions. He’s older than Namjoon, but has never felt jealous of him calling the shots. 

“Namjoon… those comments… the fans are accusing you of being racist. It’s big man… you’re trending. We’re getting English comments, Korean and I think someone’s done some Google translating because we’ve got all these weird Korean comments saying ‘Don’t mean to bandmates’ like they’re all copying and pasting from each other…” Yoongi runs a hand through her hair in agitation, and Namjoon rocks back with a short gasp, like someone’s punched the air out of him. 

“Which comments even?” he asks, and Hoseok’s also curious, confused. 

“Your statement… uh… here’s the translated version… ‘When I first saw V and J-Hope, I couldn’t see them because they were too black. Yeah when the nights get too dark I couldn’t find them’, ” Yoongi reads.

Hoseok doesn’t really know what to think. People say that sort of shit all the time in Korea, and yeah, it gets tiring at times, and there have been sometimes he’s had to fake a laugh at being called Snoop Dogg, but it’s just par for the course when you’re a dark skinned idol rapper. 

“Uh man, I forgot that people get real funny about skin colour here,” Namjoon groans in dismay. 

There’s nothing for it but to inform the manager and the others. The maknae line grow grim, no doubt remembering Taehyung’s roasting, and Seokjin looks concerned. 

“The important thing is- no one says anything. Offline until we hear back from the CEO,” their manager says. 

And the storm picks up force, they just can’t hear the wind howling yet. 

 

… 

 

CEO’s orders are to ignore it. Hoseok’s seen it work well with other companies- it’s sort of the default to not admit things and just ignore them until you they either blow up or blow over. (Unfortunately it’s a strategy that hasn’t been working well for SM lately but all Hoseok can hope is that they have another disaster bigger than BTS.) He’s been watching online though, trying along with Seokjin to stumble through the comments. 

“It’s getting worse,” Seokjin notes, concerned. They both are. 

It’s one thing to handle this nightmare back in Korea, but here they don’t even have the comfort of being in their own country. 

“We have so many international fans… I was so happy, you know? But now something like this happens and I just wonder… they’re so different to us… they don’t understand us…” Hoseok murmurs, because he loves all their fans, he does, but sometimes the International fans just… they don’t seem to understand or follow the normal fan rules.

Sometimes it’s amusing, like when they try to sing along with the Korean songs, and the Melbourne fans were so cutely terrible as they stumbled over “Miss Right”. Honestly, Hoseok knows the words (it’s their song, after all) but it was nearly unrecognisable to him, the random sounds the audience was (attempting) to throw out. They also tend to favour volume over tone.

Sometimes it’s gross, like the American fan who threw her underwear at them. They’ve laughed at seeing it in American films, but it’s a bit different (not to mention unsanitary) when it happens in real life and lands near poor Jeonggukkie, who at the time, wasn’t even legal. 

Sometimes it’s just frustrating, because these things are okay in Korea, and then they’re not somewhere else, and how are they even supposed to know? The fans are really outraged, and sometimes Hoseok despairs of these misunderstandings… 

“I don’t get it,” he sighs. 

“Hey, look, here’s one in English that’s translated into Korean! It looks pretty comprehensive,” Seokjin comments, and begins to read it aloud as she scrolls down the page.

“Shadiest?” she stumbles over the word. 

 

_Rap Mon’s Shadist Comments:_

_Many fans, especially Koreans, are arguing that what Rap Monster of BTS said wasn’t racist. They’re right. It was however, Shadist. Since I am Korean and have lived in Australia and America. One of my best friends is African American and we talk about Shadism in Kpop a lot so I thought I should clarify the arguments for readers._

_Shadism is when people discriminate based on skin tone. So let’s look at people’s various arguments._

_1\. Rap Monster was speaking another language and meant to say “Dark” not “Black”._

_Many people say that Rap Monster meant ‘too dark’ rather than ‘too black’. A number of things are clear from the context of his words:_  
_\- He says “I couldn’t see them in the dark” which makes it clear this IS about skin colour.  
\- He uses the word “too” as in “too much” which indicates a negative (i.e. it is bad) _

_Therefore, Rap Monster is saying that V and J-Hope are bad because they have darker skin. It may not be racism, but it is shadism. The meaning and intent of his words is undeniable whether he meant dark or black._

 

“Shadism?” Hoseok has never heard that term before and to be honest, doesn’t quite understand it all.  
Seokjin’s curiousity is peaked though, and she continues reading.

 

_2\. People are arguing that we should respect their culture, and that it is okay to say things like this in Korea._  
_\- Ignoring the fact that, hey, it shouldn’t be okay in Korea either because it’s discrimination based on something they can’t help and discrimination is bad mmmkay?..._  
\- … even if it is okay in Korea, they made the comment in Australia to international media. It is not okay in Australia and Western countries!  
\- If BTS want to break into the international market, they need to know it’s offensive to their fans. 

“We know now, trust me,” mutters Hoseok, and Seokjin is puzzled.  
“But why?” she muses. 

_Why is Shadism in Kpop so bad?_

_Here we go, down the rabbit hole. You’ve chosen the blue pill and you can’t go back!_

_When you say “[Insert idol here] is too black…”, what you mean is “[Idol] is unattractive because they are black.”_

_We can distil this down into “Black is unattractive” which then translates to “If you are black, you are unattractive.”_

_So immediately, any fan who has dark skin feels bad because they are being told they are ugly. It is a nasty feeling._

“Oh,” Hoseok says softly, because he’s been called ugly many, many times before. It’s not a nice feeling. Seokjin looks grim.

But… dark skin is ugly. He’s told it every time the fans tell him he’s too dark, in person, online, by their photos which are always several shades lighter than his actual skin. Big Hit has always lightened their shots as a matter of course. 

_What is worse than being called ugly? Being called ugly by someone you love and admire. So when you devote your whole heart and soul to someone and you realise they think you are ugly… it hurts. It hurts very badly._

_And at the moment, there are a number of young girls and boys out there, who are maybe already going through a tough time. And maybe they want to feel close to their idols, to support them and to forget the bad times in their life… It breaks my heart to think of the young boys and girls crying themselves to sleep because their hero has rejected them for something they have no control over._

_You can dye your hair, you can wear contacts but you can’t change your skin colour. You can’t change who you are._

“Oh no,” Seokjin murmurs, sighing heavily. 

The thought of young fans crying themselves to sleep sits heavily on Hoseok’s conscience. He knows their fans get passionate- they haven’t had bad Sasaengs yet but he knows they probably will. It’s just that… well he never thought that they’d be the ones to hurt their fans. 

_So why else is it a problem?_

_In Korea, skin colour is often associated with class and wealth. It’s not fashionable to have a darker skin tone, and my family tell me I look “like a farmer” when I return from overseas with a tan and tell me to “wear more sunscreen”. I’m used to it now, but my friends were horrified hearing it._

_What is sad is seeing idols teased by their bandmates- the people who should support them. Look at pretty much any band with dark skinned members and you’ll find uncomfortable comments. Kai from EXO is a great example- there are so many times when EXO members have thoughtlessly commented about his dark skin and he looks so uncomfortable and unhappy. It’s well documented by fans who hate the Kkamjjong tag. Watch this video and see how vulnerable he clearly feels. N from Vixx is another example. The people shaming them are the very people who should have their backs. BTS normally come across as a very friendly group, so this is disappointing._

Without looking at him, Seokjin clicks the link provided and they watch the video of EXO talking about Kai. It’s apparent that the author is 100% correct. Kim Jongin is one of the most famous people in Korea, a fantastic dancer and incredibly sexy, but he’s still clearly uncomfortable in his skin. It’s awkward and almost intimate to watch. Kai being embarrassed on stage makes Hoseok feel distinctly off balance, and he is not enjoying it. 

“You… I mean… do we make you feel like that?” Seokjin turns to him, and she’s ashen, even more pale than usual in her distress. 

“No! I mean, … no you don’t, never BTS,” Hoseok stammers, and it’s true. 

“But… you get this… I never noticed it but you get it all the time, you and Tae,” Seokjin thinks back. 

“Yeah, sometimes, but I get just as much shit for being untalented and ugly, and Tae for being weird,” Hoseok offers. He watches Seokjin and he doesn’t think it makes her feel better. It doesn’t make him feel better either.

_The most important thing though, that people don’t understand, is the history of, and the ongoing oppression. ‘Black’ people were, and still are, second class citizens without the same rights. In America, my friend’s ancestors were slaves. Her great, great uncle was shot trying to escape from a plantation. If my friend had been alive in those days, she wouldn’t have been able to vote, or own land, or earn money. She wouldn’t have been able to sit in the same section on the bus. (And don’t even get me started on the confederate flag man- how can that one not be clear?! Confederate flag represents the people who wanted to keep slavery, so of course this one is racist!)_

_In Australia, where this interview happened, Aboriginal people owned the land. White settlers came in and invaded. They shot and killed the native people and bought disease, destruction and devastation. They literally tried to exterminate Aboriginal people in genocide._

_Imagine, having no rights just because of the colour of your skin. Being hated, treated as lesser… Imagine if we just hated everyone with blonde hair… it’s stupid, isn’t it?_

Put this way, Hoseok begins to understand that there’s a lot more to this issue than any of them ever realised. 

“But… we’re not black…” he mutters. They’re Korean… they don’t have anything to do with this.

_Here’s the thing though- that “history”? That’s happening now. It’s STILL happening._

_Black people are still living that nightmare, in America, where African Americans, including children, are shot or assaulted on the street by police officers and citizens and their murderers walk free. The incarceration rate of African Americans is much higher; the poverty rates and disease, the police more likely to harass them- it is actually dangerous to be an African American on the streets in America._

_You don’t hear stories of white children being trained to hold their hands up and say “I’m not armed”, like my friend and her little brother. So why is that?_

_In Australia, Aboriginal Australians have the highest suicide rates, the lowest literacy, the diseases that don’t bother the rest of the population. Someone called was literally COOKED ALIVE in a non-air conditioned prison van being transported in that country. You can’t tell me that awful death would happen to a white person.”_

Seokjin looks like she’s about to be physically ill as she mimes the words “cooked alive”. Hoseok is trying desperately not to picture this or think about how that would have felt

 

_So I guess my point is this:_

_Shadism sucks._

_I think we can all agree that shadism and racism have no place in a fair, modern world. So the goal is to eradicate these things- make it a clear and global message that they’re not okay. When Zico wears the confederate flag, or Rap Monster calls his bandmates “too dark”, or EXO-L’s trend “Kkamjjong”, it undermines equality, promotes discrimination and silences victims._

_When the people hurt by this do actually speak up, they’re met with a barrage of fans telling them to get over it and that they’re just being dramatic. “Oppa” didn’t mean it. This is called victim blaming. Victim blaming is when you blame the victim (the person who has been hurt) instead of the perpetrator (the person who has done the hurtful action) and here’s the big tip: It’s not okay to victim blame, and it won’t solve the problem._

_When people victim blame, they often tell off the person for talking about their problem because it makes them uncomfortable and might result in changes to their own lives- they often use words like “politically correct”, “butthurt”, and “get over it”._

_It’s a bit like a starving child asking you to share some food, but you turn around and tell them not to interrupt your “me time”. Then if they complain, you tell them it’s not a big deal and they should just “get over it”._

“Victim blaming…” Seokjin muses, as though she’s heard the term before. Probably has, from Yoongi, Hoseok thinks. 

_So listen up._

_If you have dark skin, it’s probably already hard enough to get through the day. It’s bad enough that your family members or you could be harassed on the streets, could be killed just for being born looking different. If you have white skin- become an ally. Don’t be a bystander, speak up. If you hear racism, or shadism, say it’s not cool. If you see victim blaming, step in to support the victim._

_It’s bad enough that people don’t seem to notice or care about these issues because they’re not white issues. If you have dark skin, you can’t opt out. You can’t avoid the topic, because you have to deal with the looks, the judgement 24/7. You can’t escape. You can’t put on a ‘white’ disguise and have the world give you a break. This is your life._

_It makes it worse when the things that you turn to for fun end up also relegating you to a second class citizen, and you start to wonder if things are hopeless._

_If you are dark skinned, you are beautiful too. Never forget that._

_Peace._

All of a sudden, Hoseok’s making connections- the shooting incident that the Manager mentioned before their American tour- how they had to avoid certain cities because of protests. Of course their thoughts drift to some of the only black people they know. 

“Holy shit, does this mean that Tony…” Hoseok trails off. He thinks about how friendly Tony was, despite the culture shock, and how he’s continued to support them. He thinks about the stories they heard and saw of the “black” neighbourhoods, and all of a sudden, those stories start to become decidedly less cool and decidedly more alarming. He wonders what his own life would be like if his skin was darker still.

His mind whirls, beginning to approach and simultaneously shy away from the thought of being shot in the streets, the thought of someone like Tony potentially being shot for ‘being black’… 

And then he remembers all the police vehicles that would casually drive past while they were filming, to the point that one of their directors had sworn once and suddenly he thinks that maybe there aren’t as many police as he’d previously thought in America. 

“Fuck,” he swears, and sees Seokjin come up to hug him. Her arms come around him, her familiar floral perfume a comfort as they just stay in that embrace. He doesn’t want to stop, but eventually, she leans back slightly. 

“Are you going to talk to Namjoon?” Seokjin asks, and Hoseok knows Namjoon and Yoongi would want to read this. But… it feels weird to bring it up. Like he’s complaining. Sure, he thinks the whole skin colour thing blows, and yeah, he’s felt bad about it before, but never from BTS’ words directly. The whole thing makes him feel confused and unsettled, his stomach churning. A small part of him wishes deep down that he could just go back in time and forget this situation. He remembers the blog. _…you can’t avoid the topic, because you have to deal with it 24/7….”_

He doesn’t answer Seokjin, staring pensively out the window. 

He has no idea it’s going to get worse. 

 

… 

 

They’re on stage in New York, and it’s going well, the crowd are pumped, America loves them. Only, as it turns out… not all of America seems to love them. They get the warning through their earpieces, that they need to come off early. Hoseok runs off-stage while they cut to a repeat of the video they use to get changed. Confused, Hoseok looks to the others, who are also looking around trying to work out what’s happened. 

“What’s going on, are we having tech issues?” Namjoon asks, wiping his forehead, and they all groan, remembering THAT concert… Hoseok shudders just thinking about it. 

“Grab your bags, we’re going, right now,” Manager-nim says tersely. 

“What?” Jeongguk cries. 

“We’re not finished…?” Jimin points out. 

“What’s going on?” Seokjin asks quietly. 

“Van now, I’ll explain there. 5 minutes, grab your stuff,” Manager-nim says, and subdued, they do. Hoseok has a pit in the bottom of his stomach, because it has to be something huge to stop one of their concerts. They’re not finished- they didn’t even get to their newest track. The high touch… 

Namjoon walks to the front with Manager-nim, and the elder line instinctively buddy the maknae line. 

“We’re splitting up and taking two vans. Everyone is in the back,” a staff member snaps out at them, stressed. 

“Namjoon, you’re in the back as well this time. Yoongi, Jimin, van one, let’s go,” a staff member begins ushering them through. Namjoon’s face is tight with concern, and Jimin looks like he’s about to cry, staring back at Jeongguk and Taehyung. Yoongi wraps her arm around Jimin’s shoulder, and the last thing Hoseok sees is the staff member’s tense face as they get on the bus. 

“What’s going on?” Taehyung asks quietly, subdued. 

“We don’t know yet. Let’s just stay calm and wait,” Seokjin says, but Hoseok can tell from her pale face that she’s frightened too. He wishes they would tell him what was going on, because the not-knowing makes it that much more scary as his brain conjures up terrible scenarios. But he has to stay strong.

“It’s okay, we’re all together. We’ll take the next van, they’ll let us know what’s happening. Things are just dramatic in America,” Hoseok takes his cue from Yoongi, putting his arm around Tae. In a normal situation, he wouldn’t be able to do this in public, hug his female group mate, but he sees Seokjin is holding Jeongguk’s hand and the maknae isn’t resisting. 

When things go wrong, they always pair the youngest with the oldest- Seokjin’s calm sensibility and Jeongguk’s strong energy means they temper each other perfectly, as do Jimin’s cheeriness and Yoongi’s practicality, Hoseok’s calculated understanding of playing the crowd and Taehyung’s random creativity. When things go wrong, it’s always Namjoon bearing the brunt of the company’s displeasure, so he doesn’t factor into their pairings. 

“Van two, Seokjin, Hoseok, Taehyung, Jungkook,” another frazzled staff member comes up and the van pulls in. The staff member checks the van, actually getting inside and looking around, before indicating they get in. Hoseok is becoming more and more frightened- they often need to move quickly to get ahead of crowds, but there’s an extra sensation of stress and danger at this time- he’s never seen them check the van. They’re usually not split up either. 

“Okay, here we go. Keep off your phones. No going online. No one rides in the front. Keep your head down and away from the windows. Stay out of the line of sight. No one should see you,” the staffer rushes the words out, taping pieces of paper to the van windows to block sight. This is definitely not normal behaviour. Hoseok feels Tae’s hand reach into his and squeezes back.

“If we stop suddenly or you hear something unusual, get on the floor and get under the car seats,” the staffer adds seriously, before shutting the van behind them and muttering “Let’s go,” to the driver. 

“Get under the seats?” Seokjin repeats stupidly, in horror. Hoseok is genuinely shocked- they’ve never had anything like this before… His heart ramps up and he can feel the adrenaline flooding his body as he breathes quickly.

“I’m scared,” Tae whispers, her face nastily white and her eyes wide and terrified. 

“Me too,” Hoseok admits quietly, hugging her to his side. His eyes dart around the van. 

“Noona…” Jeongguk begins to Seokjin, but his voice cracks and he can’t get the words out. 

“We’ll be fine,” Hoseok tries, but his voice is too high pitched to be believable and his heart is racing so fast. 

“Van 2 is go,” the staffer says tersely into a walkie talkie, before hearing an answering crackle. 

“Stage: Crowd is still going, we are playing another video,” comes a voice which must be from whoever is coordinating the concert. They’ve never had to use the second emergency video. The van turns, quickly, and he braces himself and Tae from sliding too far to the side. He can feel her shaking. Maybe it’s him.

“Van 1 calling in, we are nearly there,” they hear. He feels their van slowing and tenses as it slides to a stop. Through the windscreen at the front, he sees the red traffic light. In front of him, he can see the staffer’s eyes darting around, as if waiting for an attack. 

His mind slides away from the thought that now seems so clear, so accurate – the staff think Bangtan are going to be attacked. That’s why they told them to get on the floor. They are preparing them for if they’re attacked… 

“I don’t need a man, I don’t need a man…” he hears Seokjin singing under her breath, desperately. 

“Noona?” Jeongguk asks quietly, and Hoseok is proud, can tell he’s trying to be strong. 

“I wanted to sing, and this is all I can think of right now,” Seokjin’s voice cracks and she doesn’t bother lying, her mind racing. He knows that they are all feeling the cold grip of fear.

“Yoongi would be happy, girl power,” Taehyung comments, but it’s flat, terror sucking any comfort from the comment. 

“Uh ah ah uh oh… “ Hoseok sings along, quietly, tunelessly, because as horrible as their lifeless singing is, it’s better than the silence. The van starts again, and they relax slightly, before jumping as the walkie talkie crackles to life again. 

“Van 1 is home, I repeat, Van 1 home safe. Van 2, status?” they hear. 

Okay, so Namjoon, Jimin and Yoongi are safe. They’re safe, that’s good. 

“Van 2 on the way, no complications so far,” the staffer in their van responds, but doesn’t relax. Maybe some other time, Hoseok will appreciate how concerned and dedicated the staff have been to keep them safe. But now all he can feel is this numb horror, trying to work out what is going on and why someone apparently hates them enough to attack them… 

“Stage here. Crowd are getting antsy… we will need to make the announcement soon. We’ll wait for you to arrive, Van 2,” the concert coordinator responds over the walkie talkie. 

“Understood,” the staffer responds, and they all tense as the van slows again. Hoseok sees something out of the corner of his eye and flinches. His free hand curls automatically into a fist, ready to come up but it’s just a shadow- a tree blocking the light from the moon as it sways in the wind. 

The foreign country at night seems to be full of menacing shadows and Hoseok wants desperately to be home. America was always a blur of different sights, sounds and smells but now it seems like he’s trapped in a nightmare. He’s like the kid in the haunted house- he just wants to get out and go home and feel safe. 

“Almost there,” the staffer tries to comfort them, but the quick, bitten off words are still too tense for it to be any real help. A chill runs down his spine as the van starts up again and Hoseok thinks that if someone comes through the van door- it’s him. He is closest to the door- he’ll be the first one to go. He has to protect Tae and Seokjin, the female members, and he’s older than Jeongguk. It’s on him, and he’s terrified. 

The thought of what could happen… being stabbed, being shot, kidnapped… Hoseok’s only 23, he’s got the rest of his life ahead of him… he wanted to get married, to have a family… 

He stares at that door, petrified that he’ll hear angry voices; that the door will begin to open. He looks back at the staffer, but she’s alternating between watching the door and the windscreen. He clutches Taehyung in terror and mentally whispers a new mantra to himself … _Keep it together, keep it together…_

“I wish I wasn’t an idol,” Tae whimpers quietly, next to him. His heart breaks, but he can’t deny he understands the sentiment. He just wanted to rap and dance. Was it so bad? What did they do, any of them, to deserve this? Someone hates them enough to make them feel this frightened, this scared, maybe to hurt them. 

The van slows again and they all tense. He thinks he hears Jeongguk sob, but the staff member relaxes and nods to them. 

“Van 2 has arrived safely, we are about to unload,” she says into the walkie talkie, and they inch forward slowly. Seokjin sighs in relief, and it echoes, too loud in the van. 

“Stage acknowledging. Police are on standby. Announcement will now commence,” the walkie talkie rattles. 

The crowd will be so disappointed, Hoseok thinks idly, and watches his hand shake as he goes to open the door. They’re safe, he tells himself, but can’t seem to shake this eerie feeling. He can’t make himself feel normal again, and it’s almost like he’s outside of his body, watching it operate on autopilot. 

There’s a knock from outside, and Hoseok jumps back, before hearing “Staff here, we’re clear,” through the van door. A second later the van door opens, and Hoseok is glad for the warning. He doesn’t think he could have handled another shock.

Staff members usher them through, but Hoseok won’t let go of Tae and honestly, he doesn’t really process what is going on, it’s all just noise and images until a door opens and there are Namjoon, Yoongi and Jimin in front of them. 

“Tae! Jeongguk!” Jimin cries, lunching himself forward as Tae disentangles herself from his side and runs to Jimin, crying. Jeongguk goes to them too, and they hug, their distressed sobs echoing in the kitchen. 

The staff ignore them for a moment, rushing to Manager-nim, giving the update. Hoseok can hear, in the background, the walkie talkies, informing them that the fans are starting to depart the concert. 

“Hobi? Hobi?” Suddenly Namjoon is in his face. 

“What?” Hoseok blinks as Namjoon drapes a blanket around his shoulders. He sees Seokjin with a blanket already, and Yoongi handing out a large quilt to the maknae line, Jimin cuddling Tae and Jeongguk on either side of him. 

“Hey man, you with us?” Namjoon asks, and Hoseok notices that their leader is washed out, paler than usual. 

It takes him a few minutes to respond, and he sees one of the stuff cluck at him. Someone presses a mug of something warm into his hands and says “Drink, drink.” 

It’s sweet and he makes a face, but they keep indicating that he drink it. 

“You need the sugar, Hobi. You look like you’re going to pass out,” Yoongi says quietly to him. He didn’t notice her getting there. There’s a lot he hasn’t noticed. He starts to realise that maybe he’s in shock. 

“We made it Hobi, we’re okay,” Yoongi says, and Hoseok just reaches around and hugs her silently, shaking. He can feel her trembling too.

“We’re okay,” she whispers again. 

 

… 

 

The temperature in the hotel room becomes hot very quickly, but the staff watch Bangtan with hawk eyes, not letting them take their blankets off and making sure they drink their too-sugary tea. It’s about a half an hour before the staff will even tell them what happened. 

It’s horrible. 

The moment they explain Namjoon had death threats, threats of being shot, everything makes sense. He also understands why they didn’t tell them in the van. He thought not knowing was the worst, but the death threats… Hoseok feels sick at the thought of what could have happened, and Yoongi lets out a sort of groan next to him, as if she’s injured. 

Jimin and Taehyung burst into tears. Jeongguk looks so terrified even as he tries not to cry that Hoseok’s heart breaks, and Seokjin starts breathing so quickly that one of the staff goes to calm her down and force her to breath with him so she doesn’t hyperventilate. 

Namjoon himself just stares at his hands, almost not reacting, but Hoseok knows him better, knows he’s just as distressed as any of them. He looks blankly down, as if picturing bullet holes and blood. Hoseok wants to tell him ‘You don’t deserve this!’ but words are sticking in his mouth and he just can’t talk right now. No one says anything, and after a while, Yoongi tugs Namjoon down on her other side, and Seokjin sits next to him.  
Manager-nim checks in and out, keeping an eye on them and ensuring the other staff look after them as he is on the phone between Seoul and the New York venue. 

A short time later there’s knock on the door and they see Manager-nim talking with police officers. Another hour passes in a haze of more too-sweet tea and the staff sit them next to each other, boys and girls lined up like frightened puppies on a couch. The staff are rushing around and trying to provide them with a semblance of normality, and Hoseok would appreciate it, he really would, but it’s hard to feel anything right now. 

“Want to watch some anime, Tae?” Jimin tries, with a watery, fake grin.

“No,” Tae says simply, quietly, hugging Jeongguk to her like her own teddy bear. They sit there, quietly, occasionally squeezing each others’ hands, or feeling someone patting them.

The staff don’t even try to insist they sleep in their own beds, bringing them pillows as they stay in a pile of limbs, clinging to each other. Yoongi ensures Namjoon is surrounded by herself and Seokjin on the couch, pulling him back to lie on her legs even as Seokjin leans on him. On the floor, leaning against the couch, Jimin pushes Jeongguk in the middle of him and Tae, with Hoseok next to Tae and Seokjin’s legs. Hoseok sees a staff member looking at them with a sort of fond sadness, as she goes to turn off the lamp, then reconsiders and leaves it on, keeping the darkness at bay. 

Hoseok is glad. 

Even so, sleep is a long time coming, for them all. 

 

… 

 

When Hoseok wakes, he’s confused and in pain. For a split second, he can’t understand why his back hurts so much, or why he seems to be spitting out Tae Tae’s hair. He feels movement near him and realises that Namjoon moving woke him up. Namjoon- 

His memories rush back, weight added to his shoulders, a pit in his stomach. All of a sudden, the world is a darker place as he realises - _They threatened to kill Namjoon._

“Why?” Hoseok says unthinkingly. 

“Because of the interview. Because of what I said about you,” Namjoon says hoarsely, having heard him. He feels Seokjin stirring behind them. 

“I… what?” Hoseok blanks. He’s never seen Namjoon look this defeated. 

“It’s my fault,” Namjoon says, before levering himself out from the Yoongi/Seokjin sandwich, beginning to stand. Yoongi mumbles a bit at the loss of warmth and rolls over, not ready to wake up. Some part of Hoseok is happy for the consistency, but that part feels far away, out of reach.

“It’s not your fault,” Hoseok denies, because that’s not right, it can’t be right. You can’t threaten to kill someone because of something like this, something as small and unimportant as a quote to a bandmate. 

“It is. They threatened to shoot me because I said you were too black,” Namjoon says simply. “I put you in danger because I was careless in an interview.” 

One thing Namjoon doesn’t do is sugar-coat. 

“It’s not fair to word it like that though. Threatening to kill someone is not a reasonable reaction. No one could have predicted it,” Seokjin joins their conversation. 

“It’s not good enough,” Namjoon says, and he’s talking about himself. Jeongguk pipes up, surprising them, because they didn’t think he was awake. 

“If it was me hyung, would you blame me for it? Would it be my fault if I said it about Hobi-hyung and I was threatened?” Jeongguk asks quietly, so as not to wake up Tae and Jimin. Smart, thinks Hoseok. 

“What? No-” Namjoon replies instinctively before he sees the word trap. Seokjin sighs, before going to hug Namjoon. Hoseok can already see it though- Namjoon isn’t ready, and shrugs out of her embrace. Seokjin doesn’t fight it, understanding as well as he does. 

Hoseok discreetly nods to Jeongguk, because he made a good point, he did well. Jeongguk looks down, unable to accept the compliment, because it didn’t work. Hoseok wants to tell him that this early on, it never would have. Namjoon has to wallow for a while before digging himself back out, because that’s how he operates. He doesn’t just get over things. 

Jeongguk looks like he wants to get up, but then looks at Tae and Jimin who are clutching him tightly. 

“I can bring you something if you don’t want to leave them?” Hoseok offers quietly, and Jeongguk looks at him with relief. Hoseok thinks about how well the maknae line look out for each other and feels like his heart is stretched with all these feelings. He loves the maknae line, and he’s glad they have each other, but it’s like his heart can’t manage to contain happiness right now. 

Whenever he thinks of something cheerful, something good, he’s reminded of their situation, that someone threatened to shoot Namjoon, to kill him, and all that happiness just seems to leak out of him. It’s like he’s the one who was shot and the bullet holes leak his happy feelings until all he has is this sort of dull sadness and despair. He hates it. 

Taking a deep breath, he goes into the tiny kitchenette. Namjoon is in one of the bedrooms and Seokjin has wisely given him some alone time. 

“Breakfast?” Seokjin gives him a tentative smile. 

“You’re my favourite Noona,” Hoseok says, and he can’t quite match his usual cheer, but it’s something. 

“I resent that,” Yoongi’s sleep-rough voice comes from behind him. 

“I love you too,” Hoseok aims for joking, but it comes out as more of a solemn statement. 

The feeling in the kitchenette deepens, unspoken words and understandings making the air heavy.  
They endure it for a minute, before Seokjin speaks up.

“What’s the plan?” She asks, and normally Namjoon is on the elder war council, but he’s can’t be, and they’re just going to have to do it themselves, for Namjoon and for Bangtan. 

“Someone needs to look out for maknae line,” Hoseok says, because this is a given. 

“Someone needs to look out for Namjoon,” Seokjin adds immediately, before looking away, no doubt remembering Namjoon shrugging her off earlier. 

“Maknae line have really helped each other well,” Yoongi casts a look towards the living area instinctively, as if she can see through the wall. 

“I don’t think it can be me to look out for Namjoon,” Seokjin says quietly, and no one contradicts her. When Namjoon is in this phase, her concern often aggravates him. 

“Yoongi noona?” Hoseok suggests, knowing that his way of gently dealing with situations is like oil on water for Namjoon, for whom it’s all or nothing.

“Yeah, sure,” Yoongi runs a hand through her hair which is sticking up all over the place, like an alarmed hedgehog on her recently blonde head. 

“I can take the kids, and that will free up Seokjin to oversee everything,” Hoseok suggests, because he’s closer to their age group anyway. 

“So I guess I keep everything running…” Seokjin murmurs. 

“Default leader,” Hoseok mutters unthinkingly, and Yoongi sends him a sharp look. 

“We have a leader,” she insists, and both Hoseok and Seokjin are taken aback. 

“Of course… I mean… I would never…” Hoseok suddenly stumbles over his words, taken by absolute surprise. 

“Are you worried about what will happen to Namjoon?” Seokjin asks shrewdly, and Yoongi looks away, the nail clearly having been hit on the head. 

“When… when we first did this concept, I had an anti-café,” Yoongi begins slowly, and Hoseok remembers, remembers the nasty shock of holding the indomitable rapper as she finally cracked under the pressure. It feels like years ago instead of months.

“I was worried that because the fans hated me so much… so much as to even petition for my removal from Bangtan… that Big Hit would listen, and I would be kicked out,” Yoongi continues quietly, and Seokjin gasps quietly. 

Hoseok had known things were bad for Yoongi, that the anti’s were getting to her, but he suspects the rest of them (except Namjoon) had no idea what the real issue was. The maknae line would have been far more distressed had they considered the possibility of one of them being kicked out, and Yoongi is naturally so reticent… he suspects the only reason he knew at all was because she’d finally caved under all that weight. 

“Yoongi…” Seokjin says quietly, sadly. 

“Don’t worry about it now unni, everyone helped, and it’s fine now. But what if Namjoon…” Yoongi worries her lip between her teeth.

“No,” Seokjin says immediately, unthinkingly, and Hoseok nods. Yoongi looks mollified by their instant denials. 

“When I said I was worried about being kicked out… Namjoon said he would resign for me. He’d leave, if Big Hit kicked me out,” Yoongi states, and Seokjin and Hoseok stare at her in abject shock. 

They’d never heard what Namjoon said to her, and if he didn’t trust Yoongi, he’d think she was lying. 

“Namjoon would resign…” Seokjin is floored. Hoseok understands why. Music is everything to Namjoon- he threw everything in to this amazing leap- his perfect school grades, his underground career… he gave it all up and dedicated everything he had to be in this band. For him to give it all up… to throw all his work aside to support a friend… 

They sit there in silence, taking in the magnitude of the sacrifice, and sure, Namjoon has made a lot of mistakes, but Hoseok has always been proud to have him as a leader. 

After a while, he ponders aloud. 

“I can see your concern… the controversy centres on Namjoon, he’s upset a lot of fans…” Hoseok begins, holding up his hand to forestall their comments. 

“But Namjoon is Bangtan. He’s our leader. Our main male rapper. He’s the only one of us with solos. The only one of us who can speak English. We can’t do it without him. Big Hit has to know that,” Hoseok states simply. Yoongi nods a little, hugging herself. 

“But…” Seokjin whispers. Yoongi’s head snaps to her.

“But what?” Yoongi demands. 

“What if Namjoon leaves?” Seokjin says quietly, so quietly. 

“He wouldn’t leave us!” Yoongi objects, but her voice sounds smaller, less certain than before. Hoseok connects the dots, as Seokjin continues: 

“What if he thinks he’s helping us by leaving?” Seokjin looks paralysed by fear. 

“No,” Hoseok instinctively denies, even as it rings true for him. 

“Oh shit,” Yoongi looks like someone’s stabbed her. It’s terrifying, because it’s something Namjoon would do, take it all on his shoulders like a martyr, thinking he’s doing the best thing for them without realising that the best thing has always been, will always be, Bangtan together, all 7 of them. 

“If Big Hit make him leave, I will leave with him,” Yoongi says clearly, and Hoseok panics. Bangtan would fall apart without them. 

“Stop,” Seokjin says softly but firmly. 

“We need to focus on preventing this from becoming a problem, preferably without letting maknae line know,” She reminds them, and Hoseok feels the haze of terror lift. She’s given them a direction. 

“So here’s how we do it. Yoongi, you’re on Namjoon support. We’ll all try to keep an eye on everyone, but you know how to handle Namjoon best right now. Say whatever you need to say, but we’ll all make it clear we can’t do it without him. If we have to stamp it on his forehead, we will,” Seokjin says determinedly, and Yoongi and Hoseok nod. No one has ever been as earnest as the people in this kitchen, right now. 

“Hoseok, you’ll watch the maknae line. They’re looking out for each other well, but sometimes they try too hard to be strong for each other, especially Kookie,” Seokjin outlines. 

“I’ll keep track of the scheduling, the food, the cleaning, and I’ll support you two,” Seokjin finishes. 

“Who’ll support you, Noona?” Hoseok asks in concern. 

Seokjin smiles. “You two will, silly. We’re in it together, all of us. … including Namjoon,” she huffs a little at the end, and Hoseok manages a smile, because they have a plan. They have a plan now, a team, and they’ll get through this. 

“Oh, and all of us will try to run interference with Big Hit where appropriate. Yoongi, if you can try to keep track of the music side of things so we can remind Namjoon if he forgets anything, Hoseok the individual members and I’ll work with Big Hit on schedules and so on,” Seokjin adds. 

Yoongi nods determinedly, looking like a little kid who wants to impress their appa. It’s cute. (Hoseok refrains from mentioning this, as he values his life. He thinks Seokjin sees it though, because the corners of her mouth twitch up a little.) 

“Do we need a secret handshake?” Hoseok suggests, and it’s a joke, but somehow they end up with a 3 move handshake involving dusting off their hands twice in a clapping motion and then a three way high five. 

“That was so lame,” Yoongi groans. 

“So cute!” Seokjin practically bounces. 

“We never speak of this,” Yoongi warns. 

Hoseok makes no promises. 

 

…. 

 

The maknae line (Jeongguk indignant over the promised yet never eventuating breakfast) are awake when they return. As a whole, most of them have recovered from last night’s experience, but the whole group are subdued. 

“So… breakfast hey…” Jeongguk arches an eyebrow at Hoseok, who after their half hour discussion in which Jeongguk no doubt thought he was getting a 5 star Seokjin-created banquet, is carrying a soggy bowl of some American cereal. 

Taehyung just hugs him tightly from her half lying down position, Jeongguk turning his head to look down on her with a sort of fond concern. Last night he seemed younger than his years but this morning he seems older, more mature than his years and hers too. They seem to have shifted slightly because Jimin in turn is hugging Tae, waiting and watching Seokjin, Yoongi and Hoseok solemnly. 

“Hey guys,” Seokjin offers. 

“Hi,” Jimin returns in a small voice. Yoongi walks over to take a seat on the floor and Seokjin and Hoseok follow, Yoongi throwing a look out to the balcony, where they’re giving Namjoon some alone time to process it all. 

“How you doin?” Hoseok jokes. Tae sort of pokes her head out from where she’s nestled into Jeongguk. 

“Ok, oppa,” she says quietly. 

“Kookie?” Yoongi asks. 

“Yeah, I’m good,” he says. 

“It’s been pretty nasty, hasn’t it…” Seokjin muses, and everyone nods reflectively. 

“But we’ll get through it,” She says firmly, solemnly, without doubt. 

“We’re going to need you, though,” Yoongi says solemnly, and it’s like a switch has been flicked- something the maknae line can do. They all sit up straighter, eyes zeroed in. They want to help. 

“What is it?” Jimin asks, and it would be eager – but it’s not quite that happy. 

“We need you to look out for each other, and we need to work together to support Joonie,” Seokjin informs them. Tae nods, unfurling slightly from where she’s hunched into the boys. 

“It’s going to be important to let us know if you’re a bit down, so we can support each other. We need to watch out for each other and if someone looks a bit upset, try to be there for them. That’s number one,” Hoseok says decisively. 

“Number two is trying to be pretty sensitive around Namjoon. It’s going to be very stressful for him so the best thing we can do is be patient,” Yoongi advises. 

“Do you think he’ll want to talk?” Taehyung asks, eyes drawn to the balcony. They all glance out. 

“I don’t think so,” Yoongi says gently. Namjoon will never talk to maknae line- would hate to burden them with his problems. 

“If he does start talking to you, of course you can discuss it. But maybe let’s not bring it up unless he feels comfortable about talking about it,” Seokjin says, and the maknae line nod determinedly. 

“And maybe we can try to distract him- we don't need to be obnoxiously happy, but we can help him try to remember some of the good times. We just need to be mindful that sometimes he’s just going to want some quiet reflection time, and sometimes he will just need to switch off. The worst thing would be to try and tell him what to do though,” Yoongi suggests. Hoseok can see they’re turning the ideas over in their minds. 

“Hey, Jin-noona, what do you do to make yourself happy?” Hoseok asks, curiously. 

“When I feel down I like to cook or read…” Jin says and blushes slightly. 

“Those romance novels?” Yoongi asks dryly. 

“Wow, Unni, those get R-rated!” Tae pipes up, and the boys (and Hoseok) swing their heads to look first at Tae, then more consideringly at Seokjin. 

“Yeah,” Tae continues, “All this talk about their throbbing-” 

“OKAY thanks Tae, great story time. Yoongi, what about you?” Jin interrupts hurriedly, now bright red and everyone snickers.

“Well, I like music- writing my emotions out into a song. Or just listening to instrumentals and staring up at the sky…” Yoongi mentions, before pointing to Jimin. 

“I like dancing! And um, cuddling Jeonggukkie,” Jimin makes a cute face at Jeongguk, who jokingly makes a face back, then pauses in thought. Jeongguk is watching the elder line closely and Hoseok thinks the jig may be up- it’s not like they’re particularly great actors… 

“Are you just trying to go over resilience techniques with us? We did this in school…” Jeongguk wrinkles his nose slightly, then- 

“Wait, is this what you were talking about in the kitchen instead of making me breakfast?!” his eyes widen in outrage. 

“Okay, we’ll everyone seems to be very resilient, time for me to go…” Hoseok makes a quick exit with a grin, ignoring Jeongguk grinding his teeth and aiming to get in the shower first. Hopefully… just maybe… everything will be okay. 

… 

Big Hit make the decision to keep promoting as normal, and Hoseok can see by Seokjin’s face that she’s a bit horrified. Yoongi seems more resigned and honestly, Hoseok doesn’t even know if the alternatives would be worse. 

Speaking of worse though, Namjoon’s mood sure isn’t helped by having to fake nice. Manager-nim insists, gently but firmly, on the Kim Dailys. 

“Wouldn’t it be more … prudent… to wait?” Seokjin can’t help herself, anxious. They all know there are just going to be more fan wars, more tweets… more everything. Namjoon putting up his daily selfie is going to enrage the angry fans further… 

“Whatever, fine,” Namjoon snaps, ignoring Seokjin who is biting her lip. Manager-nim is understanding, but uncompromising, and in the end Hoseok volunteers to take the shot for him. He wonders if it’s coincidence that Namjoon wears a hood low over his hood and looks down. He wonders, but he wonders silently. It’s a long day.

They have that one day and then they’re back to rehearsals. It’s a strain, and the mood is subdued at best, downright fraught with tension at the worst. 

Maknae line take their advice to heart over the next few days, earnestly forgiving Namjoon when he pushes them through another bruising pace yet again. He snaps at Jeongguk, who simply nods and repeats his lines. Taehyung remains quiet whenever he is in the room, acting the most serious he ever sees her. Jimin patiently runs through the choreo with Namjoon, never commenting if he missteps, and Seokjin just tries to stay quiet. It seems like anything she says is taken the wrong way. 

Hoseok is grateful that Yoongi can distract his attention, giving the rest of them a break from endless choreo as they work on their mixtapes separately long into the night. And when she sleeps in, he is the one to silently bring Namjoon some tea, out on the balcony where he has exiled himself, occasionally offering a simple statement on the weather or the city below. 

Hoseok and Seokjin have taken to tucking the maknae line in, sharing lame jokes with them and competing in a race to the bottom, to the kids’ cries of “Jin unni! That’s so lame!” or “Just stop, Hobi hyung”. Then she and Hoseok finally drag themselves to bed and he does his best to pretend he doesn’t hear her tossing and turning long into the night. 

 

… 

 

The stress is running them all ragged. Being on tour for so long, all the threats and the drama of domestic and international ARMY as well as their antis… The more tense Namjoon becomes as Big Hit insist he keep taking his “Kim Daily” shots and fans keep warring, the more sympathetic Seokjin becomes even as she intercepts more and more of their duties. It’s Seokjin ensuring the younger line have their bags packed ready for the concert, ensuring that the staff are acknowledged, ensuring that everyone is eating well and sleeping at the right times, smiling for the cameras and supporting the maknae line. It’s just a pity that her every action grates more on Namjoon; even as she sees his annoyance when she hands him her homemade kimbap, her smile becomes more brittle as his thanks become more snappy and resentful.

Hoseok learnt long ago that there is little he can do- in times of stress, Namjoon and Seokjin are just polar opposites in how they handle things and what they can deal with. Even knowing it’s not personal, Seokjin’s feelings are hurt, just as Hoseok knows Namjoon will feel even worse tempered because he knows it makes her feel bad but he just can’t deal with her sympathy. It’s like a horrible cycle. So Hoseok does what he can to distract the maknae line, though he sees Tae biting her lip as she watches Seokjin retreat, sees Jimin jump up to help Seokjin carry the bowls or wash the dishes, sees Jeongguk watching quietly in concern. They’ve also been more subdued than usual, quieter, more responsible, trying not to add any stress to Namjoon’s weighed down shoulders. 

Namjoon has not uttered a word of complaint- not even to Yoongi. He knows, because she worries about it, worries about him. 

The staff have been understanding- more than he could hope- about their sleeping situation. It’s unheard of to have coed groups sharing rooms like they have been, but the first night they tried to separate, Tae had a nightmare and started crying, dreaming that Jimin had died, and immediately fled to their room and Seokjin spoke quietly to the staff who are doing a fine job of looking the other way. They’re lucky that Namjoon didn’t wake at the time, but unfortunately the room switch didn’t go unheard. 

“Why are maknae line rooming together in the girls’ room?” he’d asked. 

“Tae had a nightmare,” Jimin began. 

“There’s no reason that they can’t just stay together this time. We’ll keep it quiet, it will comfort them,” Seokjin said calmly. 

“No reason they can’t stay together?! What if the press find out?” Namjoon growled. 

“I think they’re already pretty pre-occupied,” Yoongi says dryly, harsh but knowing which button to push. It hurts Hoseok to see Namjoon flinch- he is one of the most sure and confident leaders, but now he’s caving. 

“Manager-nim agrees,” Hoseok lies. Seokjin’s eyes flick to him but she says nothing. 

“Fine,” Namjoon says and retreats to the balcony, leaving an awkward atmosphere. Hoseok doesn’t ask how he reacts when Yoongi moves into his room in Jeongguk’s place and Seokjin and Hoseok take the double between the two rooms. If anyone has nightmares, they can deal with them without needing to wake Namjoon or Yoongi.

He’s not sure Manager-nim actually knows- if he does, he hasn’t mentioned it and the staff have been great. They understand exactly how Bangtan feel. He overheard one of the staff members talking to her husband back home about how sad and scared they were now, and while he was surprised, he couldn’t refute it. 

He hadn’t noticed until he’d overheard her, the way that Jeongguk hasn’t complained once about Tae and Jimin hanging off of him, how the terrible two had stopped teasing him and just started cuddling him, how the three just seemed to look for each other constantly, as if their worlds revolved around each other, checking that they were safe every five minutes with a look, a touch. Their concept of space has narrowed- if they sit, those three sit next to each other instead of leaving space across the room. 

The staffer’s husband had obviously questioned it, because indignantly, she’d fired back that anyone could see the gentle touches were reassurance, childlike, seeking comfort. It makes sense, Hoseok thinks, given that Tae and Jimin in particular have suddenly started professing their love for everyone in Bangtan, especially when people go anywhere. (He thinks this just makes Namjoon more tense, but it moves Seokjin and even Yoongi softens at Tae yelling “Love you!” as if she’s worried these words might be the last she can ever say to them.) Hoseok bites his lip and listens more carefully as she goes on to defend Namjoon and Yoongi and Hoseok and Seokjin. 

“Yoongi just rests up against him. From anyone else I don’t think he’d tolerate it, but I think her fake-unconcerned touch just keeps him anchored- like a reminder he’s still human. It’s sad, the things these antis do,” she talks into the phone. 

“And even Hoseok and Seokjin… little nudges, shoulder bumps… sometimes when she’s tired she just rests her head on his shoulder. It’s… it’s good that they can give each other comfort, you know? It makes me think of little Eun Hae, and how I’d want her to have support if something happened to her…” 

After that the conversation turns personal, and Hoseok stops eavesdropping, but he watches and he sees that while everyone else is beginning to get better, all they’re doing with Namjoon is trying to stop things from getting worse. Yoongi’s beginning to get bags under her eyes as she tries to keep up with Namjoon’s punishing pace and self enforced isolation. 

It gets to the point that he taps Yoongi on the shoulder when Namjoon goes to the balcony, and directs her to the puppy pile that is movie night, before opening the sliding door to the balcony and pulling up a chair silently next to Namjoon. By now the balcony might as well be his office, for all the time he spends out here. Namjoon looks at him, then back out into the horizon, watching the sun go down.

“I don’t understand it, you know,” Namjoon says, staring out onto the horizon. This is the part where, if this were a movie, Namjoon would be smoking a cigarette. Big Hit would have all their arses in a second if they did anything like that though, and not in a good way. 

Hoseok thinks for a moment, debating the pros and cons of showing him the article, but thinks he deserves to know. If it were him, he’d want to know. He saved the address in his phone, and now he loads the page up, ignoring Namjoon’s questioning glance, and hands it to him without a word. Namjoon reads it. 

Hoseok sits quietly, watching the sky darken over this giant, alien country, just letting idle thoughts flow in and out of his head. Namjoon reads without a sound, and Hoseok just breathes as the city lights begin to blink on below him. Dimly, he can hear a muffled shout of laughter as Tae chortles at whatever terrible movie they’ve picked. Tae and Jimin love trashy action fics or American cheerleader movies which normally make the rest of them groan but are perfect for mindless entertainment. 

After what feels like an eternity, he sees Namjoon straighten up and put the phone down out of the corner of his eye. Hoseok speaks up, almost dreamily. 

“Who would have thought we’d ever make it here?” he asks rhetorically. Namjoon looks like he doesn’t quite know how to handle that question- torn between pride at their accomplishments and shame at the situation. He says nothing, just staring forward. 

“I’m glad though. There are good times, and there are bad times, but they’re all Bangtan times. The seven of us are meant to be together,” Hoseok says simply, and picking up his phone, goes inside to give Namjoon some alone time. 

Hanging out with the kids has eased some of the tension for Yoongi, who promptly fell asleep on the sofa, head in Tae’s lap with Jimin’s hands running soothingly through her hair. Hoseok still sees Seokjin’s eyes track his movement inside, before looking out past him to the balcony. She makes no move to go outside, and Hoseok is glad.

When the movie ends, they all go to bed, Hoseok, Seokjin and Yoongi trotting after the maknae line, who have dragged their beds together and are lying across them. 

“Shall we tuck you in?” Yoongi grins at them, and there’s a spark in her eyes that gladdens Hoseok. 

“Noona!” Jeongguk groans, but Hoseok can tell he’s not really against it. 

“Yes!” Tae says excitedly, with Jimin just smiling a little shyly, and even Yoongi can’t hide how adorable she finds them. Seokjin snaps a picture- Tae, Jeongguk in the middle and Jimin, and then Tae says, “Sing us a song”. 

They look at each other and Yoongi grins. 

“Tonight… is such a beautiful night… 2011…” she begins, and Hoseok smiles because it’s such a perfect choice.

“Big Bang, Big Bang… we back again one more time say no way, no way…” Hoseok joins in, their rapping more gentle, slower, hopefully lulling the maknae line to sleep with their favourite band. Seokjin kicks in with the chorus, a high pitched, gentle singing, and Hoseok thinks of Namjoon sitting out on the balcony, staring out over America.

When she repeats the chorus, Yoongi chiming in slightly off key with her, he takes it as his cue. 

“Tonight… is such a beautiful night…” Hoseok begins TOP’s famous lines. He can hear Jimin sigh in anticipation, as Seokjin’s pretty voice dwindles and grows softer. Yoongi goes to the door, ready with the light switch, as Hoseok adds “Goodnight,” and blows them a kiss as the lights go out. 

“Love you,” Tae mumbles sleepily. 

“We love you too,” Seokjin murmurs, and they shut the door softly. 

… 

 

The concert wasn’t their best, but he thinks they’ve tried their best. 

Namjoon, as usual, does an admirable job of MCing for them, fielding all the questions. Hoseok can see the times when he briefly forgets, begins enjoying himself, but then his eyes catch the giant “We’re sorry!” posters and he stiffens, the joy gone. Hoseok tries to chip in with the English, being the second strongest, and they all stammer out a few awkward lines. He and the maknae line as well as Seokjin have been working overtime on fan service- Jimin and Taehyung are as greasy as he’s ever seen them, Jimin flexing his muscles at all times (to significant fan appreciation) and Tae winking as she rolls her hips. He thinks a poor bastard in the third row might have fainted. 

Hoseok is jumping all around stage and even Yoongi is trying some aegyo, which is making the audience laugh. Seokjin is pointing to the audience and making hearts, even the girls screaming for her. They’re all doing their best. 

Oddly, it makes Namjoon even more upset. 

He supposes, after some thought, that it makes sense- Namjoon hates to make others work hard because of him. He must feel guilty that everyone is putting in overtime, and if he feels how Hoseok feels lately- probably a lot worse- it’s a wonder he’s still sane. 

Hoseok is still feeling like a leaking sieve of happiness- but these days some of the holes seem to be plugged. Slowly, he knows, he’ll get back to normal. They’ve had tough times before, and they’ve passed. He’s the lucky one who gets to work with Seokjin and indulge the maknae line, and buffered from the pressure a bit, maknae line are beginning to recover. As they become happier, the elder line become happier, because even though he struggles to find his equilibrium on his own, maknae line are (admittedly quiet) little balls of sunshine, fluffy chickens who can’t separate from each other and haven’t yet regained the confidence to be brats. All they do is cuddle and occasionally make faces at each other.

It makes him sad to know that even though maknae line try, Namjoon won’t let himself have that. 

Funnily enough, when Seokjin breaks, Namjoon hasn’t even yelled at her. (This is a good thing, because Yoongi would definitely yell at him then, and there could be all out war.) 

Things don’t go wrong so much as they just wear her down. She’s low on sleep, waking early every morning to help organise them, and she’s just… it all becomes too much. 

Whereas Hoseok was practically catatonic on the first night and bounced back after that, Seokjin was able to work through her fear and keep going. But, Hoseok thinks, she could only keep going at that pace for so long. 

He hears her that night, and this time he can hear quiet sobs. Moving carefully, he sits on her bed, feeling her freeze. 

“Noona?” he asks quietly. She doesn’t reply. 

“Noona, do you want a hug?” he offers, and he feels movement in the dark. 

“Noona, I can’t see…” he reminds her gently. He hears her choked laughter, then hears a “… yes…”. Moving over, he leans to carefully wrap his arms around her, into a hug, and feels her shuddering sigh. 

“Noona, you work too hard.” 

“I… I just…” Seokjin begins, and Hoseok understands. 

“I know it’s stupid, but I just can’t help myself…” She whispers, and he hugs her tighter, feeling her hair tickle over his face. 

“… I can see him reacting badly but I… I just want to help,” she says a bit brokenly, and suddenly Hoseok is reminded of how eager maknae line were just to _do_ something.

“But noona, you do help,” Hoseok says soothingly, running his hand up and down her back. He has to laugh a bit, in the back of his head, because he bets Donghyuk would be so jealous of him right now. That guy always had a bit of a crush on Jin- always jealous of her friendship with Hyo Sang. 

He feels Seokjin hiccup a bit. 

“Noona, you help do everything for us at the moment. We’d fall apart without you. Don’t think for a moment you’re not a star player… a VIP!” He grins a bit in the dark and hears Seokjin sigh at his lameness. Since that first night, maknae line have requested a different Big Bang singalong every night. It’s getting to the point where they’re running out of tracks they all know. 

Seokjin quiets in his arms and they rest for a moment, enjoying the simple comfort of holding one another. Then she surprises him, turning around in his arms, pauses. 

He waits, knowing where this is headed, but wanting her to think about the consequences, make the choice. 

She shifts, and he feels her lips press against his. 

“Is this a good idea?” Hoseok asks mildly, even as he allows his mind to process the sensations he’s blocked out before- the floral scent of her perfume, the way her warm body is pressed into his, the sound of her breathing. 

“Just tonight…” she says, nuzzling into him. While he’s not entirely sure this is a good idea at all, it’s not really up to him to decide what she can and can’t do. She’s an adult and he’s definitely willing.

“You don’t care that we’re not in love?” He asks, fairly sure the answer is no. 

“I love you Hoseok. We don’t love each other romantically… but we do love each other, yes?” Seokjin makes a good point and he’s done arguing. They’re both consenting adults who can trust each other. They’ll be able to look each other in the eyes the next morning and still respect each other. 

“Yes,” He says huskily, and then closes the distance between them cautiously. He’s careful, in the dark. This is not his first time, and the darkness brings with it the hidden dangers of accidentally poking someone in the eye. It was an unpleasant experience the first time, and he’s not keen to repeat it. 

She sighs as he kisses her again, grinding her body down into his as if she just wants to burrow her way into his skin. He grabs her hips, helping her, and pressing his body up into hers as he kisses her neck, threading his fingers through hers. 

“Don’t stop,” she says breathily, making quiet little sounds every time his groin comes into contact with hers and it’s here that he has a horrible realisation and mentally curses. 

“I don’t have a condom,” he warns. 

“Fuck, me… either,” she gasps, and his head reels at the realisation that proper Kim Seokjin is swearing into his ear as he grinds up against her, hands running over her back, under her thin pyjama top. 

“Don’t wanna stop…” he groans, because damn if this doesn’t feel amazing, if she doesn’t feel amazing. 

“Fuck no!” she swears, “Can we just continue this?” 

“I can get off from this,” Hoseok tells her honestly, squeezing her breasts and revelling in the little gasp she makes and the way she grinds down on him, “…but can you?” 

Seokjin gives a little laugh. 

“What a … gentleman… Hobi…” He can feel her grin as he chases her mouth. 

“I think,” She pauses, rolling her hips and leading him to gasp, “I can help you…” she bites his earlobe, sucking on it to soothe the sting, “…get me there…” 

She’s practically purring when she rolls her hips again, so close he can smell her, feel her everywhere, brushing her face up against his in the dark like a cat as she pants “Fuck Hobi,” in his ear and it’s enough for him. 

With a hard thrust upward that has her yelping quietly and hissing, grinding down even harder into him, he comes in his pants, her name on his lips. She pulls back for a moment, aware that he’ll be sensitive, and giving him a few seconds to recover. 

“So noona,” Hoseok begins in his most innocent voice, winding his hands back over to the waistband of Jin’s pyjama pants, “… what should I do now?” 

Seokjin chuckles, a darkly seductive sound and reaches for his other hand, holding it in the air. 

“Start here,” she says throatily, and bucks her hips, before he feels the hand in the air move slightly and then his fingers are enveloped by wet warmth. 

“Shit,” he says quietly, as Seokjin just sucks on his fingers. She bucks again insistently, reminding him that his hand has just been waiting on her. He moves his hand down, pressing his palm against her clit and she arches upwards with a gasp around her fingers. The position also allows him to trace patterns with his fingers over her lips, both sets. 

As he moves his hands, pressing down as she grinds up, he wonders at his fingers in her mouth. She knows he’s come already, so why? He doesn’t think she’s interested in staying up for round too, so that just leaves… 

“Do you like having things in your mouth, noona?” He asks darkly, and receives a whimper and her grinding up even harder against him in return. Holy shit. Holy shit, she does. She’s just blowing his mind tonight. 

“Oh noona, we went about this entirely wrong,” he whispers with a laugh, before whispering in her ear again. 

“Do you want to suck me off, noona?” she pants around his fingers, hollowing her cheeks, as he alternates between slipping his fingers inside her and playing with her clit. 

“Would you swallow?” he asks, because all of a sudden he’s dying to know and he can feel her winding up. 

“Yessss,” she hisses around his fingers and fuck if he wouldn’t like to repeat this experience sometimes. 

“Would you want to control the pace?” he asks as he thrusts his hand particularly deeply inside her, her hips snapping up routinely. He doesn’t seem to get much of a reaction, so then… 

“Or would you want me to fuck your face?” He asks mildly, and holy shit does she clench around him. He’s never going to be able to forget this. 

He starts thrusting both of his hands, slowly, gently, deeply, and it’s only a few more minutes before he feels her arch her back, sucking his fingers particularly hard, then she’s fluttering around his other hand, so tight he thinks if he hadn’t just come he’d be rock hard. 

He gently removes his fingers from her, waiting a moment. 

“Um,” she says uncertainly. 

“That was fucking hot,” Hoseok declares, in case she’s worried. 

She laughs a little, huskier than usual and Hoseok has to actively not focus on the reasons for that because he is not getting hard again tonight; he’s definitely going to sleep now. 

“I’ve never told anyone else that…” she admits, nearly shyly. 

“Fuck Jin, anytime,” Hoseok says wholeheartedly and she laughs and lightly slaps his shoulder. 

“Go get a washcloth you loser,” Seokjin says fondly, and 5 minutes later they fall asleep cuddling. 

 

… 

 

The next morning, he wakes up to Seokjin, who has rolled away from him in the night. Her sleeping habits can be inconsistently clingy sometimes, and completely solitary at others. Watching her sleep with a soft smile for a moment, he switches off Seokjin’s alarm, tiptoes out to make breakfast and meets Yoongi. 

“Hey,” she says, and she sounds _tired._ This is it, enough’s enough. 

“Yoongi, go to bed, get some rest, and I’ll tell you plan B later today,” Hoseok tells her gently but firmly. 

“Yoongi-noona to you,” Yoongi sasses, but her heart isn’t in it and she’s already trudging back to the room, ready to embrace the warm delight of sleep. 

He starts making a basic breakfast, missing Korean food yet again, because even when they buy it or make it here, it doesn’t taste the same. He feels kind of sick when he thinks of all the bread Americans seem to eat. He intercepts Manager-nim, pleading the case for a morning off, and though he’s not sure it will work, Manager-nim looks at him silently for a moment and then relents, patting him on the shoulder. 

“I’ll be back at 1:00pm though, so be ready!” he warns, and that’s really all Hoseok can hope for. When Namjoon leaves the room he and Yoongi share, he looks back into the room, presumably at a sleeping Yoongi, an odd look of regret on his face. Since he’s clearly unaware that Hoseok is watching, he turns away and steps a bit too heavily to alert Namjoon. 

“Hobi,” Namjoon’s voice sounds rusty, like he’s hardly used to socialising anymore. It turns Hoseok’s stomach and makes him even more determined that it’s time for plan B. 

“Manager-nim isn’t back until 1 today,” Hoseok informs him lightly, and Namjoon simply nods apathetically, turning towards the balcony. If Hoseok didn’t need to talk to the rest of the elder line without him there, he would have tried to force him into the kitchen. As it is, Hoseok makes him a plate of toast and brings it out to him, sitting next to him while he reaches for it half heartedly. 

“Thanks man,” Namjoon says seriously, looking at him, and Hoseok thinks it’s a good sign. He doesn’t push his luck for now, heading back inside. 

When he passes the maknae line room, he hears a suspicious thumping noise and after knocking quietly, giving them plenty of time just in case, he opens the door. 

Tae is sitting in the middle of the bed, hair sticking up everywhere, and an unrepentantly cheeky, vaguely guilty look on her face, like she’s been doing something she shouldn’t be. Jimin is on the floor, snickering. Jeongguk looks shocked, and from the amount of cushions all over the room, Hoseok deduces he just got hit in the face by one or two. 

Hoseok makes a big deal about looking around suspiciously, a smile hovering on his lips. Tae gives her best ‘innocent’ look, which is totally not innocent and Jimin just starts snickering again. 

Hoseok presses his finger to his lips with a smile, in that universal gesture of “Be quiet!” and Tae nods industriously. He thinks he can see Jeongguk opening his mouth (possibly to plead for a reprieve?) but Hoseok just says mischievously “be responsible now guys,” and closes the door to Jimin’s giant grin and Kookie’s look of horror. 

There’s a soft thud and a muted squeal from behind the door as he heads back to the kitchen. 

He’s finished preparations (he’s no Seokjin, laying out the American condiments and cereals is about where he’s at really) when Seokjin strides in, shirt haphazard and hair sticking up as she says to him “We’re late!” in panic. Oops- he hadn’t factored in her abject horror at waking up late when he turned off her alarm.

“Calm down, we’re not on ‘til one!” he soothes, steering her into a chair. 

“What… I … oh,” she sort of deflates, panic beginning to abate, rational thought beginning to return. 

“I thought we could all use a bit of a break,” he says, and sees her considering him. 

“Hobi, I love you for letting me sleep in but you turn my alarm off again and your life is forfeit,” she bares her teeth at him and he smiles winningly back at her. 

“Love you though,” she mutters around a mouthful of toast and his eyes crinkle into a smile. He was never really worried, but he’s glad that last night didn’t change anything between them. 

“Love you too,” he replies, as Yoongi makes her way into the room. 

“Ugh, you two disgust me,” she groans. 

“Noona!” Hoseok pouts. 

“Fine, do you love me?” she demands, and she looks ridiculous in her t-shirt pjs, like a tiny, fearsome child about to stomp her feet. 

“Of course,” Seokjin grins, ruffling her hair to a whined “Unni!”. 

“I love your legs,” Hoseok winks at her, before saying “Of course I love you noona!” and hugging her. 

“Ugh, put me down you- you Park Jimin!” Yoongi sneers at his sleaziness. 

“What’s that about me?” Jimin bounds into the room, way too much energy, going to the sink for a glass of water and downing it quickly. 

“Hoseok is being a skeeze about my legs,” Yoongi sniffs and Seokjin snorts, slapping her own face lightly because they all know where this is going now. Jimin puts the empty glass down, looks down and runs his gaze up Yoongi’s bare legs and says “… awww yeah,” before winking, biting his lip and thrusting his hips a bit. 

“Oh my – put it away Park Jimin!” Yoongi starts laughing and Hoseok is laughing and Seokjin is laughing and even as Jimin heads back to “help Kookie defeat the Taemonster” they’re still laughing and it feels _good_. 

Their laughter peters out gently into a sigh of contentment. 

“Man, if only our fans could see us now…” Seokjin snickers, pointing at Yoongi’s hair. 

“What? Look at yours!” Yoongi retorts. 

“What about him?” Seokjin sticks her tongue out and Hoseok pretends to be offended. 

“What about… what about plan B?” Yoongi says quietly, and they look at him. 

“What we’re doing now has worked for us, but not Namjoon,” Hoseok states, and the girls look crushed. 

“It’s not our fault,” Hoseok says hurriedly, “and it was an effective strategy to keep things from getting worse, but now it’s time to switch.” 

Now here’s the kicker- because it’s his plan- but Yoongi gets to do the dirty work. It’s kind of a shitty move, but he just doesn’t think it will work, coming from everyone else. 

“We tell him to suck it up and get on with it,” Hoseok says simply. 

Yoongi’s jaw drops. Seokjin’s eyes go really wide. 

“Stop sulking, it’s not the end of the world, look at how great you’ve got it, learn from it, move on,” Hoseok states firmly. He can see the girls mull it over, see Seokjin start to nod. 

“I guess it’s worth a shot. But who gets to…” Yoongi begins, seeing them looking at her. 

“Oh hell no…” she growls, immediately realising she’s the one who gets to unleash the tough love. 

“Well, I suppose Seokjin could do it…” Hoseok says mildly, and Seokjin plays along. Yoongi clearly pictures this and shudders. Yeah, there’s no way that would end well, despite the respect Seokjin and Namjoon have for each other. 

“I could do it,” Hoseok says. 

“You…” Yoongi says disbelievingly, and he gives her his happiest smile and thumbs up. She just sighs, resigned. 

“Fine,” Yoongi growls, adding “but you owe me!” 

… 

In the end, he doesn’t actually hear what Yoongi says to pull Namjoon’s head out of his arse. 

He just smiles and serves Namjoon some more shitty toast when he leaves the balcony of pretty views and desolated feelings to enter the kitchen. Tae smiles cautiously at him, as if everyone recognises it as a turning point. 

“So…” Namjoon clears his throat and everyone snaps to attention, waiting for… well something.

“Is Seokjin cooking dinner tonight?” Namjoon grimaces at his toast and Hoseok chucks a slice at him. 

Seokjin clips him on the head, but her delighted smile belies the harsh action. 

“You’re doing the dishes,” she sniffs. 

“Aye ma’am,” he salutes. 

“Whipped,” Jeongguk snickers, and Namjoon looks at him. Hoseok counts the seconds… 3… 2… 1… aaaaand they’re off, Jeongguk running, Namjoon chasing and the terrible twins returned just chasing the other two for the sake of it. 

“We did it,” Seokjin whispers in the quiet of the kitchen. 

“Yeah,” Yoongi leans back on her chair, just breathing, as if now she’s not in crisis mode, it’s time to sleep for a year. 

“Secret handshake time!” Hoseok grins as obnoxiously as he can. Yoongi pretends reluctance, but in no time, they’re dusting off their hands twice and then doing their three way high five. 

“We don’t speak of this,” Yoongi tries to remind them futilely. Seokjin just pats her on the head as she exits the kitchen. 

“No promises,” Hoseok grins winningly, before ducking as a cushion from the couch sails his way. 

 

… 

 

Hoseok picks up his phone for the first time in a while, flicking through and looks at @BTS_twt. There’s a picture of a self-help book, and some words of reflection. This is the closest Namjoon could come to an apology without disobeying Big Hit. Hoseok is glad to see it, and admires the bravery Namjoon has shown. It takes a strong man to admit his mistakes. 

Hoseok thinks about the whole experience, really thinks. 

He thinks about their fans, about the members. He thinks about Namjoon. He thinks about shadism, and the situations overseas and in Korea. He takes a deep breath and lets the solemnity and severity of the problem wash over him. And then, he just sits, silently, for a few moments. 

He breathes out, and stands, resolute. He won’t forget this experience, but it’s time to move forward. 

Tomorrow is another day.

**Author's Note:**

> FYI the man cooked alive really happened. He was an Aboriginal Elder called Mr Ward. There have been a number of Aboriginal deaths in police custody, some for things as stupid as unpaid fines, and these are happening now, not 10 years ago. It’s alarming.
> 
> Back to BTS, I would like to think that Rap Monster, and all of BTS, have learnt from this incident, been able to grow in knowledge and understand their fans more, and grow to be better people because of it. I support BTS, but I also expect them to learn from this experience. 
> 
> I was really disappointed when I saw Australian A.R.M.Y. making excuses about translations and victim blaming. That’s not okay. One of the things I personally believe in is the quote: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
> 
> I believe that A.R.M.Y. have a responsibility to BTS to help them grow as people and artists and that this painful step will hopefully create a better Bangtan. 
> 
> Let’s fight for empathy, tolerance and the end of racism and shadeism. A.R.M.Y. fighting. BTS fighting.
> 
> xx


End file.
